Today has been a day with a lot of impressions and mixed feelings. On my blog it might look like I’m just on a long vacation, but you might know that the main reason I’m here is because of my studies. I’m working five days a week at a big children hospital here in Barcelona. The hospital has 10 floors, and I’m based at one of them. The floor I’m in is primary kinds that does operations that is not that big, or if they have some chronic conditions that needs some weekly care. Nothing too serious. You do see children who are afraid and feel bad, but at the same time you know most of these kids will be okay.
Today was different. I had to work in another floor with a different patient group. Just entering the floor I could feel the different energy in the air. Here I did see some kids really fighting for their life to survive! Just to mention one person that had been in a traffic accident that was unconscious. The only sign of life was some twitching of the body. This was a person that has not turned 18 years old yet! I was also with a little baby (less than 2 years), where it had been recently discovered a tumor on the back of the neck. Whether it is benign or malign is still unknown, but just imagine how afraid the parents must be to just wait for an answer like that! I could truly see the sadness, worry and panic in many of the parents eyes, and it affected me so much.
When we as nurses has to do some procedures on young kids that have no idea on what is going on and are totally terrified, it does something to you. I sincerely do not have a word to describe the feeling or experience. You know that it is necessary, however it makes you feel downright evil and it leaves you feeling horrible throughout the shift. Today for example, there were several instances where I had to keep back the tears because all the impressions were both new and intense. Some of children are screaming like crazy and moving around, so we and the parents have to hold them down when doing whatever has to be done. Today I really felt the pain off the parents to one of the babies when we did what we had to do. Even though we do what is best for the baby, it feels heartbreaking watching the baby screaming of fear and the despairing parents.
I will not make this a super long post, but I really felt for sharing my experience with you guys! These experiences really made me appreciate a good healthy life! It’s important to see what we got and be grateful for that.